Status: In a Relationship
by Kaede-tama
Summary: In which Matthew decides to announce his and Gilbert's relationship through Facebook, and in which chaos ensues. Matthew's starting to regret getting a Facebook account. Gilbert/Matthew, hints of other pairings


**Status: In a Relationship  
**

**. . .**

**Matthew Williams **is in a relationship with **Gilbert Beilschmidt**.  
**11** people like this.

**Alfred F. Jones **DISLIKE! :(

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** dont be hatin ;D

**Arthur Kirkland **Then why did you 'like' it?

**Alfred F. Jones **daaaaamn wrong button

**Lovino Vargas** The bastard fails.

**

* * *

**

"Why did you do it?" Alfred's whiny, high-pitched voice floated from all the way outside to where Matthew and Gilbert were in the kitchen. "Mattie! Let me _in_!" There were a few more bangs until they heard the door burst open. Alfred stomped into the kitchen.

Matthew casually flipped over a pancake. "You're starting to sound like Natalia," he commented airily as he served a finished pancake onto Gilbert's plate. "Here you go, Gil." He slid the plate onto the table and in front of a grinning albino.

"Thanks, Mattie," Gilbert said(Gillbird peeped and enthusiastically flew around his head), and then frowned at Alfred. "He broke the door down!" he complained, catching glimpses of said door's remains. "Not awesome," he said condescendingly to the American.

"Alfred!" Matthew turned on his brother, wielding his spatula. It glinted in the light. "Now I'll have to get it fixed again."

"_Again?_" Alfred repeated. "What, it happened before? I only broke it down this one time!"

Matthew quickly pulled a chair aside. "Here, Al," he said with a nervous chuckle. "Take a seat. I'll make pancakes for you too..."

"Mattie," Alfred said slowly, "why did the door break the first time?" His eyes were wide, as if he was- Nope, he really was afraid to hear the answer.

At the question, Matthew's face turned a lovely shade of red and Gilbert smirked.

"Oh my god, my _innocence_!" Alfred howled, high-tailing out of the Canadian's house.

Gilbert was cackling evilly. Matthew harrumphed and turned back to his pancakes. "It's not like he was any innocent to start with," he muttered sourly.

* * *

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** is engaged to **Matthew Williams**.  
**11 **people like this.

**Alfred F. Jones **Ha! i pressed the right button this time!

**Alfred F. Jones **wait...engaged?

**Alfred F. Jones **MATTIE HOW COULD YOU!

**Feliciano Vargas **I think we should all be happy for Gil and Mateo~

**Francis Bonnefoy **my little boy is growing up :')

**Alfred F. Jones **you havent heard of what they did to the door, franny-dear~

**Francis Bonnefoy** ohonhonhon ;)

**Arthur Kirkland **I blame you for this, frog.

**Lovino Vargas **Nope, you still pressed the wrong button.

**Alfred F. Jones **DAMMIT

**

* * *

Matthew Williams **is married to **Gilbert Beilschmidt**.  
**10** people like this.

**Alfred F. Jones **i swear ur doing this on purpose :(

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** maybe we are, kesesese

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** But on purpose or not, there was a ring~

**Elizabeta H. **I'm baking the cake!  
**Matthew Williams** and **Feliciano Vargas **like this.

**Feliciano Vargas **May i help, ve?

**Ludwig Beilchmidt** At least now Gilbert will be forced to act a little more decent

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** you should see mattie when he's drunk ;)

**Matthew Williams** Gil!

* * *

**Matthew Williams** has changed his name to **Matthew Beilschmidt**.  
**Kiku Honda**, **Elizabeta H.**, **Francis Bonnefoy**, and two others like this.

**Alfred F. Jones** NOT COOL.

**Matthew Beilschmidt** Kindly fuck off my news feed unless you're happy for my and Gil's holy matrimony, 'kay? :)

**Ivan Braginsky** Does Matvey need my assistance in keeping his brother away?

**Kiku Honda** Does this mean Matthew was the uke?  
**Peter Kirkland** likes this.

**Arthur Kirkland** Peter... You know what, never mind.

* * *

Matthew's phone lit up and started to vibrate on the coffee table. The couple on the sofa stopped.

"It's him again," Matthew said, becoming limp and lying on top of Gilbert tiredly. "I wish he'd leave us alone."

"Ignore him," Gilbert said huskily, pecking his boyfriend on the temple. "And let's go to the bedroom, yeah?" He got out from underneath the Canadian and scooped him up into his arms bridal style before heading towards the bedroom.

They passed Kumajirou, who merely grumbled under his breath and padded away to find his earmuffs.

* * *

**Matthew Beilschmidt** Hello world, I'm Matthew and as of five minutes ago, I am now a MAN.  
**Gilbert Beilschmidt**, **Feliciano Vargas**, and **Francis Bonnefoy** like this.

**Feliciano Vargas** Yay~!

**Alfred F. Jones** Dude...

* * *

**Matthew Beilschmidt** to **Gilbert Beilschmidt** Stop hacking my account!

**

* * *

Gilbert Beilschmidt** to **Matthew Beilschmidt** whatever do you mean, wifey? :)

* * *

"I still can't believe you did that." Matthew pouted, shoving Gilbert off with a pillow. "Do you know how many weird looks I got from Alfred this morning?"

"Aw, come on, Mattie, it's already been one day," Gilbert cooed, trying to overcome the wall of pillows between them and failing. "Mattie- What the fuck is this?"

* * *

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** is single.

* * *

**Matthew Williams** is single.

* * *

**Matthew Beilschmidt** has changed his name to **Matthew Williams**.  
**Alfred F. Jones **likes this.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** I still can't believe I found _that_ under your pillows!

**Matthew Williams **the only reason I had Ivan's scarf was because he came over two nights ago and offered to drink vodka with me!

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** You were drunk with HIM?

**Matthew Williams** Yes, but nothing happened!

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** then why was his scarf UNDER YOUR PILLOWS

**Matthew Williams** He passed out on my bed and left it there! I've just been forgetting to return it to him.

**Lovino Vargas** You two do know that we can all see you arguing, right?

**Antonio F.C. **lovi, why don't you leave them alone and spend some time with me? :D

**Lovino Vargas** Go away pervert!

**Matthew Williams** bugger off, you guys :(

* * *

**Matthew Williams** and **Ivan Braginsky** are in a relationship and it's complicated.  
**Katyusha Braginskaya **likes this.

**Katyusuha Braginskaya** I'm so glad that little brother has finally found someone :)

**Natalia Arlovskaya** Matvey, I'd like to visit you, where do you live?

* * *

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **and **Alfred F. Jones **are in a relationship and it's complicated.

**Matthew Williams** ALFRED?

**Alfred F. Jones **sorry mattie but i must oppose that communist bastard!

**Ludwig Beilschmidt** I am...so confused...  
**5** people like this.

* * *

"He's coming," Gilbert hissed. "Quick, do something!"

Alfred, who had been peacefully munching away at his hamburger, startled and looked at Gilbert. "Mffwhaa?" he asked through his full mouth. He made a noise of protest when Gilbert snatched his hamburger away.

Matthew entered them meeting room with Ivan, smiling. Gilbert noted that the Russian's scarf was now present, but quickly turned back to Alfred. "Open up, babe," he said rather loudly before shoving the hamburger into Alfred's mouth.

"Mmmf morftsh ish fhull!" Alfred protested.

Gilbert glanced to side and caught Matthew staring at them. "Very eloquent, Al," the Canadian said shortly.

"Alfred looks very nice when he is choking," Ivan added gleefully, wrapping an arm around Matthew's shoulders and pulling him closer. "We should try feeding each other someday, da, Matvey?"

Matthew blushed. "Th-that sounds good," he mumbled, eyes becoming half-lidded _like they always did when Gilbert whispered something perverted into his ear and_-

"Let's skip the meeting, honey," the Prussian nearly growled, jerking Alfred out of the meeting room.

Alfred shouted something about having a blueprint of a robot to show everyone as he was dragged away.

* * *

**Alfred F. Jones **is single.  
**Francis Bonnefoy **likes this.

**Francis Bonnefoy** This gives Angleterre the perfect chance to make a move, oui? ;)

**Arthur Kirkland** Wanker.

**Alfred F. Jones** duuuude...

* * *

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **is single.

* * *

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** to **Matthew Williams **take me back?

**Matthew Williams** to **Gilbert Beilschmidt** ...says the man who overreacted and then slapped me. I think an apology is in order first.

* * *

**Ivan Braginsky** to **Matthew Williams** Gilbert has hurt you?

**Matthew Williams** to **Ivan Braginsky** Yeah but it's okay now, 'cause ten minutes ago he was here groveling at my feet. :)

* * *

**Matthew Williams** posted a **video**.  
**15 **people like this.

**Alfred F. Jones **AHAHAHAHAHA!

**Arthur Kirkland** That's my boy, Matthew. Make him work for your love.

**Francis Bonnefoy** you DID take him back, right? With how hard he was begging, I think he's earned it... :D

**Matthew Williams** I took him back after he let me put this up here.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** fml :'(

* * *

**Matthew Williams** is single.

**Ivan Braginsky** Matvey?

* * *

**Matthew Williams **is in a relationship with **Gilbert Beilschmidt.  
11** people like this.

**Alfred F. Jones **At least you're not with that commie bastard anymore!

**Matthew Williams** Oh look, for once Alfred's sentence has no spelling nor grammatical errors! :)

**Alfred F. Jones **D=

* * *

**Ivan Braginsky **is single.

**Matthew Williams** Ivan, thanks again for pretending to be with me. :) I don't think anyone else would have done that.

**Lars V. **I think I would have.

**Matthew Williams** o.o

**Ivan Braginsky** Pretend?

**Matthew Williams** Uh...yeah. Remember?

**Ivan Braginsky** ...  
**Alfred F. Jones **likes this.

**Alfred F. Jones **he thought it was real! LMFAO FAAAIIIIL

**Arthur Kirkland** And now he's switched back to using skewered English...

* * *

**Matthew Williams** to **Lars V.** You weren't serious...

**Lars V.** to **Matthew Williams** is an albino going to punch me if I say that I was?

**Matthew Williams** to **Lars V.** 60% chance.

**Lars V. **to **Matthew Williams** Then I was serious.

* * *

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **to **Lars V**. *PUNCH*

* * *

"Hey birdie, now that we're back together..." Gilbert looked over to the smaller blond with a small grin. "Make me some pancakes?"

"Honestly, sometimes I forget why I stick with you," Matthew said.

"You love me, that's why!" Gilbert crowed. "And your pancakes are too orgasmic for the awesome me to leave, so..."

Matthew rolled his eyes but moved to the kitchen anyway, taking out the necessary ingredients for his pancakes, the promise ring on his finger glinting wickedly in the light.

* * *

**A/N:** Yay, third story~! *does a little cheer* Anyways, I hope this wasn't too crack-ish and turned out decent. I feel bad that I wasn't able to include all of the characters, but I did my best. ^^ Any and all mistakes are mine, for I have no experience whatsoever in how those status thingies are supposed to look like. Also, thanks to crackberries for inspiring me to do one of these, no matter how many times I was tempted to stop halfway because my fingers were getting sore from pressing the bold button... X'D

Lastly, fail title is my own fault. :D


End file.
